There’s no doubt its got slicker but do we, the great British public want slick? The Grammy’s are slick. But it’s also incredibly dull. I like the fact that it’s gone back to the music. Last nights show at more live performances than ever before and some were excellent (Adele, Rihanna) and some were dire (Olly Murs).

But we don’t really care who wins do we? I don’t think I’ve ever met someone that votes. Clearly people do, just not the people I know. So what’s missing? What do we want to see at an awards ceremony?

I think we want to see some Rock N’ Roll. We want to see some misbehaviour. We want celebrities and musicians make an arse of themselves. Yes, Liam Gallagher is and has been a bit of a knob at previous Brits. But at least he was entertaining. Who can forget Jarvis and Jacko on full moon night? Or Chumawumba, enjoying a John Prescott, with ice? Sam Fox and Mick Fleetwood with zero chemistry and charisma? We loved every second didn’t we?

'Moonwalking? If you like moons, watch this...'

That’s what we want to see. What did we have last night? Plan B slightly tipsy and James Corden desperate to hit the 10 0’Clock news.

Come on musicians of Britain (imagine Tom Baker saying this), let’s shake things up next year.

Let’s start from the beginning. I used to be in a band. I was in several bands but this one was one of my favourites. We were called ‘Sock’ and I was the singer. No-one knows why we were called Sock but we were big in the nineties (in Newark). It was around the same time as the Roses coincidently but we were probably much more inspired by the Happy Mondays; inspired by their lifestyle rather than their music. We liked a drink. And we liked performing drunk. There was a touch of rock n’ roll about us but really it was all a front to cover up our inadequacies as musicians (much like the Mondays). We knew that, our audience knew that but somehow it didn’t matter. We were all in it together. This was the nineties, man.

'Like my earring? Cool, eh?'

You have to remember this was 1992 and there was very little going on in a small market town in Nottingham. You made your own entertainment and once we’d got bored of drinking thunderbird in the local park, the only thing left for us to do, was to form a band. Once we had a band, we needed an audience and despite all of its faults, Newark did have a thriving student scene, who were also bored and looking for something to do. It was a perfect fit. Come and see a band. Get drunk with us. Dance with us. You could even sing a long (we didn’t really have ‘lyrics’). For one night only, we’re going to forget all this impending adulthood and have a good time.

We did well. We released an EP, we did some big gigs both in Newark and Nottingham and we got the girls. You can’t really ask for anything more. I mean a career would have been nice but deep down we knew we were just in it for the crack. Not literally. Crack wasn’t invented until 1994.

Anyway, I digress. We’re reforming. It’s our 20^th anniversary this year and we’re doing a one-off gig back in Newark in June. Many of our fans still live there and hope to come if they can get babysitters. We’re over the moon and very excited and all those feelings as a 21 year old come flooding back. We’ll drink less. We’ll probably be tired by midnight. And we’re not aloud to pull any groupies because our wives would probably disapprove. But once we’re on stage, we know that magical feeling will return and for one night only, we’ll be young again.

I bloody love a mid-life crisis.

Stuck for names and wanting to steer away from that ‘wheeler-dealer’ image, he decided to put the money in an account under his dog’s name, Rosie. Great story but slightly disappointed he didn’t put it under his wife’s name, Darren Bent.

This trail has a couple of weeks to go and they’ll be many twists and turns but as a Tottenham fan, am I worried? Well the short answer to that is, no.

I love ‘Arry. He’s been our best manager for years. Whether he’s dodgy or not, I don’t really care. He has got Spurs playing the best football in the Premier League, he’s brought the best out of all the players and he’s respected throughout the game. In short, when it comes to the beautiful game, I trust him completely. In fact, I’d quite like him to be my Dad. He’s clearly wasted on Jamie.

The other thing lingering issue over Mr.Redknapp this year, is something potentially a lot more damaging to one’s health; that being the job of England’s next manager. He’s a clear favourite for fans, players and his fellow managers but the F.A will be watching proceedings nervously, over the course of the next few weeks and for good reason.

Harry Redknapp; no Brad Pitt.

If he’s found guilty, the F.A won’t touch him. (Don’t panic we’ve got Alan Pardew and Sam Allardyce to fall back on.)  If he’s innocent, he’s odds on to take the England job by the end of the summer.

If he’s found guilty, where dies this leave Tottenham? Well, to be honest, I think they’ll be right there, where you left them ‘Arry, waiting with open arms to welcome you back. Daniel Levy won’t care. He’ll just want his main man back, tax dodger or not.

So where does that leave me as a Tottenham fan? Do I want Dad to go down, for the good of the club?

Of course I do. I love Redknapp but I  love Tottenham more.

The drink thing has been fine so far; I’ve just been avoiding pubs, bars, street drinkers and eye contact with our healthy stash of drink left over from Christmas. I’m heading into the third week of no drinking and I did start to feel the benefits of it last weekend, spending an unusual weekend full of clarity and optimism. That will go out the window this weekend, as I head in to my first proper social engagement of 2012; my best mates engagement party. I’m the best man, I should drink really.

Alongside that, I’ve just signed up with a personal trainer, as part of a TV documentary but also because I need to be motivated to do serious exercise and I want to make it part of my everyday life. I’m quite happy playing football once a week and popping in to town on my bike but I would never, ever consider stepping inside a gym. It’s just too manly.

'Hello, I'm Jodie Marsh. Fancy me?'

However, I did just that last week, for my first session and it wasn’t too bad actually. I looked a little odd and a bit awkward but I think, given the right sportswear, I could fit in to that scene. My personal trainer though will also be looking at my lifestyle. This is when it gets complicated.

By lifestyle she means; food, work, stress and sleep. The everyday stuff we just do without even thinking about it. I’m pretty good at the food thing, being a lentil guzzling hippy but I’m probably a workaholic, if I’m honest and sleep, as much as I love it, is not a priority in my life. There’s stuff to be done, I haven’t got time for sleep. Emily, my personal trainer, will change that, no doubt. I’m already calling her ‘Evil Emily.’ Lovely girl but she’s going to cause me a lot of pain over the next few weeks and I know she’s going to get some weird and twisted satisfaction out of that.

But you know what they say….No pain, no gain (or cake for that matter).

Wish me luck.

The cast have been brilliant and the main stars Marcus Brigstocke (loved my shirt and insisted on telling me where it was from), Todd Carty (loves a fag) and Jodie Prenger (more northern than the northern lights), have particularly welcomed me in to the thespian bosom.

It all started off hilariously with the costume fitting (see picture) got even more comical when I took part in the warm-up (this included some Dad dancing on my behalf) but my favourite moment came shortly before the performance.

Hello sailor. I mean Knight.

Immediately after the costume fitting and warm    up, I was assigned my dressing room, where I was  given space to, ‘get in the zone.’ In each dressing room and on the stage, there is a speaker, from which the Stage Manager barks orders and tells you what is happening and when. It’s very professional, as you’d expect.

About thirty minutes before show time, the Stage Manager announces that there is ‘thirty minutes until show time (I could have told him that) and that ‘could all the cast be aware that today’s special guest playing Sir. Not Appearing (my character) will be……..…Guy Pearce.

I don’t need that kind of pressure on my first night.

Things are a little calmer at the radio station after a manic December. We’ve got a few new artists coming through in the next couple of weeks, some of them with the poison chalice that is ‘hotly tipped for 20… (fill in the blank)’ Always a good/bad thing for a band. It’s a tough industry as we know but hype can work for or against you. There’s really no telling.

‘Cover Drive’ (friends of Rihanna, don’t you know) and girl band ‘Stooshe’ will be gracing the corridors of Juice towers later this month. You heard it here first (or last).

In other news, congratulations to Latest TV, who have been granted a licence to have their very own telly channel for our glorious City. There’s a long way to go but it’s looking good so far. I’ve really enjoyed presenting for them over the last year and we’ve got some great documentaries coming up. I’m about to embark on an 8 week programme with a personal trainer from next week, with the goal being to ‘lose the paunch’ and ‘install some significant lifestyle changes.’ I’m scared. And missing cake.

Also in the pipeline ‘Guy does the Amex,’ when we’ll have unlimited access to our beautiful shiny new stadium and I’ll also be filming a day in the life of one of Albion’s first team players..

Almost done and up on the website in the next couple of days is ‘Guy does Brighton Wheel (terrifying)’ and ‘Guy does street dance.’ Yes, street dance. Keep an eye on http://thelatest.co.uk/7/latest-tv

I’m back hosting all the regular stand-up comedy nights around Brighton from next week, including the Foragers and Alibi in Hove and kicking off with the Whistlestop Inn in Portslade next Wednesday. Check out my events at the bottom of my website for more details of upcoming gigs. We’ve also got big plans for Brighton Fringe Festival with comedy crew, filthy gig dog in May. I’ll let you know more nearer the time.

Finally, also bubbling under, a pilot football podcast with the chaps from Toe Poke. This is basically a bunch of metrosexuals, dishonouring the good name of British football. I’ll let you know when and where you can here it, as soon as we’ve cleared it with our legal team.

One more thing…

Does anyone know where we can get a good legal team?

2)      It seems to be perfectly acceptable, both in Brighton and nationwide, that’s it OK to binge drink throughout the course of December. Most employers will actively encourage it, not only with the traditional work party but also an increased amount of random ‘after work drinks.’ It gets to a point when there’s no actual work going on in the office and that the company is actually in meltdown in the week leading up to Christmas. Drinking heavily also blocks out a lot of the feelings you get in my first Top reason to embrace Christmas (see above).

3)      If you’re single, you’re in for such a good time, if you choose to. There’s never a more rampant time of the year for a singleton, than Christmas. Two of the reasons are already stated previously; chasing the opposite sex will alleviate feelings of winter gloom and drinking heavily will make everyone appear more attractive and more likely to get sleep with you. It’s the one time of the year that Tina in accounts, could actually be an acceptable conquest, if it’s done on the sly and she doesn’t blab about it the morning after.

4.00pm

Presenting an outdoor broadcast at Brighton Dome, Church Street for Juice 107.2 building up to the parade for Burning the Clocks 2011.

8.00pm

Hosting a night of stand-up comedy at the Whistlestop Inn (by Portslade train station), Portslade, featuring headliner Brian Gittins.

9.00pm

DJ set for Christmas parties at the Hilton Metropole.